I'm not Alive if I'm lonely.

Sometimes I feel alone even if i'm surrounded by a bunch of people.
Like I could go and take a shower and cry with no worries;
as if the water will company me, that I won't be alone when i cry.
As if every drop is my lover and it would caress carefully every inch of my body.
Even if it's freezing and cold, inside i'll be warm.

Feeling in a box made by white walls.
I could draw my own story around and see how much i've failed.
It wouldn't be much time before I went daydreaming.
Letting the water turn me into a raisin.

How long enough till I won't feel alone?

Holding my pillow while I sleep doesn't help,
turning into a ball and hugging myself either.

Being happy is momentary; but emptyness will always be there to embrace me.

The smell of my perfume inside such a small place asphyxiates me
and brings me flashbacks.
Unpleasent ones,but ones that are hard to forget.

How is it to feel chills at old thoughts?
To get goosebumps at old loves;
and then feel your stomach twirl around because those same feelings turned into hurt.

I'm so messed up inside.
I need approach to know you won't let me fall;
or drown in my own tears.
To know you'll awake me from daydreaming and hold my hand as if it were made to fit into yours, as if they were perfectly sewn together.

It's hard to hold up a smile if my heart feels rather filled with air than with wonderful memories.