I'll Learn;

Decisions we make are made by us and not by who surround us.

It doesn't depend on the society,our family or friends; but us.

They'll learn to love us anyway;to love us the same way they did when they knew about our existance if they really do "love" who you were,are,and will be.

No one can stop you,only you can stop yourself from mistakes you think you'll make.

Experiment the unknown,be prepared for the hidden,help yourself learn and move on.

We don't know what tomorrow brings for us, so don't waste a moment as of today.

Don't expect life to be amazing, or life to stop being miserable, expect to live it and not waste it.

Buy things that will bring you memories of how you used to be,good and bad, and see the change you've created in others and yourself.

It's not all just about you.

There are a bunch of people secretly wanting to learn about you, don't blow them away if they're taking their time with you, because every second is worth more than you imagine.

Stories, novels, books, notes, lines, words; all with no end.

And guess what?

You could have written your past, and your present.

But you won't know the future;

this is & could be your future, the second that's coming, and now.

StickyNote;

I thought we could fix it all.
But we just made it worse with every line.
Every word meant a thousand things;
a thousand thoughts;
and a thousand beatings in my heart.
Why did i ever trust you?
I condemned myself when i first met you.

I'm not Alive if I'm lonely.

Sometimes I feel alone even if i'm surrounded by a bunch of people.
Like I could go and take a shower and cry with no worries;
as if the water will company me, that I won't be alone when i cry.
As if every drop is my lover and it would caress carefully every inch of my body.
Even if it's freezing and cold, inside i'll be warm.

Feeling in a box made by white walls.
I could draw my own story around and see how much i've failed.
It wouldn't be much time before I went daydreaming.
Letting the water turn me into a raisin.

How long enough till I won't feel alone?

Holding my pillow while I sleep doesn't help,
turning into a ball and hugging myself either.

Being happy is momentary; but emptyness will always be there to embrace me.

The smell of my perfume inside such a small place asphyxiates me
and brings me flashbacks.
Unpleasent ones,but ones that are hard to forget.

How is it to feel chills at old thoughts?
To get goosebumps at old loves;
and then feel your stomach twirl around because those same feelings turned into hurt.

I'm so messed up inside.
I need approach to know you won't let me fall;
or drown in my own tears.
To know you'll awake me from daydreaming and hold my hand as if it were made to fit into yours, as if they were perfectly sewn together.

It's hard to hold up a smile if my heart feels rather filled with air than with wonderful memories.

Awakening

What if..

You spent your life being upset and not appreciating the beautiful things of it?

That one night you went to sleep,and when you woke up again you were locked inside your body?

That you wouldn't be able to touch,hug,kiss,move,jump,smile; to live.

To see and want things but know you wouldn't be able to get a them.

To feel like speaking but know words wouldn't come out your lips.

To be locked for 30 years.

And that by a "miracle" one day you realized your fingers could move,your lips, your legs, your arms, your head,everything.

You'd want to change everything.

That you fell in love,and that you learned every simple thing if lost would be dreadful.

That everything went back to how it used to be..

But then,after you thought everything was going to be fine,

that you slowly saw yourself locking up,and there was no medicine to fix the disease.

That your life would die again,that you'd be hopeless;waiting to really die; once more.

Now, don't you feel happy to wake up every morning and be able to yawn ?

I'm so sick.

Playful in everyway;
thoughtless in every act.

Say those words you wish to say but not mean.
Did you know you could damage one's heart like this?
We say things we don't feel;
but c'mon,you took it to extremes.

I know how it feels to see the same routine over and over again;
to see no healing in the broken feelings inside;
to see how i turn more cold and sour with time;
to see nothing's changed between whoeveryouare and I.

Oh,what a surprise.
When you find out i won't give a shit about that.
About your life and your problems,
your issues and your sadness.

If you didn't show you cared at first,
why should i show i ever cared in the past and now?
It won't change a thing.
It would just burn the page that was unfinished here.

With an end comes a new begining;
and with a new bigining comes an end.

It's an endless cycle.

I won't let you twist my heart and veins
and bring me into pain;
to bring tears into my face
until they drought away in my bed,
to make a pool in which i wouldn't have strenght
to move forward and fade;
but it's good to say,
i am done for today.

b-Friend.

So..this is what i call a best friend?

The ones that say they won't leave you behind..?

Well,i guess life's wrong and is a bitch.

Because leaving me behind was the first thing in your mind.

Go on and on and talk about your problems;
I won't be near you anymore to help you solve them.
Go on and on and scream at the ones you hate,
furthermore i know i'll be in the list with them.

And this is the way to make me stay?
Make me think my own blood doesn't love me in your way?
Flashbacks are shit
when you compare them to a whole lifetime,babe.

You like playing dirty?
We'll play dirty.

Silence will kill you,and my stillness will hunt you.
Your words will not fill the space you made us create.

I'll see your calls and not answer,
See your IMs and not reply,
Remember your smile and make it a frown.

I just want to know you're sad;
As selfish and heartless as it sounds.
I want to know your " i cared" was meant and not said
because of lies i've got enough from everyone else.

Words are just words until you act them out,
Until you give them life and give them sound.

Our life has a melody,
but i'm tired of having the same song stuck on replay.
Now i'll play and sing along..
but this time it's my own song.

Drops

You promised you'd walk with me under the rain;
that you'd walk along holding my hand.

That the cold wouldn't tear us away
and freeze every small step we'd take.

Because not even the biggest storm could make us apart.

You said you wouldn't leave me behind
that made me giggle and smile.

So on my tiptoes i jumped
above the grass under my toes.

My shoes were left in the trash,
for i didn't need them more in this beautiful land.

I was happy until i saw your frown,
it made me want to tremble and hide.

"Where's your sweetest smile, dear?"
I would ask.
But you just wouldn't reply.

Later,on the grass you sat;
i saw tears filling your eyes.
This made me panic inside,
why's my love sad if i'm by his side?

I held your hand and felt no touch,
i kissed your cheek and blushed,
i grabbed your head and tried to bring it up,
but your body wouldn't react.

I sat on front of you,
speechless as i kissed your forehead,
i saw you holding something between your cold hands.

The necklace you had given me,
wet with warm tears drops mixed with the rain,
was slipping out of your hand,
it was dreadful to see your face in such state.

"Don't you cry,please."
I remember i said.

"I love you" you whisppered as you fell.

And it was until then,
that i realized i was dead.

Because of this nightmare,
i love you more and more everyday.
And i am not scared to let the world know,let me say.
I'll appreciate every moment i have with you,and show you off.
There's no brighter sun,than the one you bring up.

Only being with you,makes the rain warm and soft.
It makes my insides twirl and my blood rush.